5/31/08

At first, it's just Mario Kart. I am dead last, eternally 12th place, despite whatever astral help there is to give me the speed and power of invincibility on my motorcycle. Eventually, it becomes less of Mario Kart - more of an arcade game. Then even that becomes real life, burning down the streets at obscene angles just because I can.

It becomes clear that I am a hitman.

I ride through several loops of the city, including bad parts of the neighborhood, scattering dozens of Crips, each with their long blue-numbered white jerseys and azure bandanas flying in the wind behind them.

On the 3rd such loop, I move slightly onto an incomplete bridge, perhaps for some kind of monorail - flying up at the grossest of angles, and then released into the air. I barely crash through the corner window of an office building, after first throwing my helmet at the glass and then myself. The cycle seems to come in with me.

Inside, I am dazed, perhaps even cut, but not bleeding terribly. A man stops to help me, more out of his own confusion than any altruism of his own - it seems to be the Moroccan villain from Casino Royale. In moments, an insane bearded man, raving about pain and laughing maniacally, bursts through another window, splintered with guns. We wrestle over his arsenal, individually seizing upon guns, machineguns inside boxes the size of cameras, knives, and ultimately, flamethrowers, which I turn upon him. He falls screaming from the window engulfed in his own flames.

Moments later, he returns again, cover in ash and unrecognizable. A kick delivers him from the windowsill. I stand on the ledge looking down at him, as the view pulls back to see some kind of pixie-like assassin standing on the roof.

Taking the cycle back, I fly across the divide between buildings on the bike, crashing through to see Ted Kennedy*, my main contact for the delivery of hits. We have a brief conversation that is interrupted by the sounds of lovemaking behind us, where we can see the man I just left fucking a beautiful exotic girl as loudly as he can.


There are more hits - eventually I turn on the man as he is abusing my righteous ways of only killing the evil. In his abuse, he, too, has become a target.